Degrassi's new gay character is a football player. Hm. Talk about switching the roles. And from what I can se it doesn't actually suck like it was there for a long while. They're just filling up our lovely stereotypes. Unfortunately I see emma and manny are still around. Suck. Anyway, it's kind of interesting. Not enough to watch it. They'll have to win me over a little more for that but....hm. Cool.

It's been a really weird, painful few months.

I'm learning alot about my boundaries and limits, about my wants in life, about my failures. Things shift and rearrange a lot and it gives me vertigo feelings. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to learn from it. I'm trying to think that the scars will be worth it. I'm learning it's harder to be optimistic about things, but I'm learning it feels more powerful when you still manage to be at the end of the day.

Life is hard. Funny how life makes you a masochist though.

I'm mostly just learning to be myself though, as hard as that may be. And it's the damned slowest journey I've ever had to make.

My first day at B&N is Thursday, and I'll work the following two days as well. I'm glad. I may have some hellacious apartment payments to make as well as needing to buy my book for my Flash class.

That's worth talking about I suppose. Collegiate Housing, being the large band of fuck ups and blood sucking harpies that they are, realized that they are poor like everyone else in the world and so are now shipping everyone out of certain apartment complexes, makin their pool of apartments smaller. This means that I am having to clean this damned thing by myself and then pack and also make sure that Jessica is well taken care of before the due date. It's stressful. And sometimes, when a situation is stressful, I like to ignore it completely. Guess what? That creates more stress...just later. =]

Anyway, but I don't feel stessed out. Merely...disconnected. I've been in my own head a shitload this week. I couldn't for the life of me say why. The only thing I seem to want to do is play sims because if I wasn't I would probably be hearing noises that aren't there or making up strange stories that only I tend to understand. (Can you tell that my brain is starting to make real life weird yet? I can only hope the deterioration is a this month only sort of deal.)

I also need to dye my hair =[ Blond was fun but I have got some ridiculous roots right now. I'll probably just go back to red for lack of money. I kind of hope I can get a job at a more laid back sort of place whenever I graduate. I want pale blond hair with lavender highlights. That's my weird hair want of the month and it sounds gorgeous. (SHE'S GOOORGUSS!)

Life has been exceedingly quiet. I have my second interview with Barnes and Noble today at three so I hope I got the job. I know I swore off of Starbucks for life, but I really need the money and since I had Starbucks on my application twice they ust immediately shipped me to the cafe area. They seem sweet though.

I have been doing a sims legacy house. About to ship my second/third generation off to college. I wonder if I will get to ten?

Otherwise I am just hanging out. Waiting for our trip to the coast. One day of sand and sunburns before I must return. School starts again like...next week I think. Or the next. Whichever.

Woke up this evening to the sound of a woman crying. It was only a split second, that wet sort of ragged inhale mid-sob. But it only lasted a blink. It was enough to wake me up and keep me up lying in the dark though XD

I am not going to say that I'm schizophrenic because honestly who the hell really knows? xD I can admit I have a very vivid imagination and if it is schizophrenia then it's an extraordinarily mild case (thank god).

I've heard a man vomiting in Jessica's yard. The click on her porch (every damn time I step onto it). There was the knocking on my second story window about three times. And when I was still living at home a year ago I could hear deep breathing a lot. All of it, like I said, is very, very mild but it's enough to give me a heartattack late at night! Talk about being in a horror film.

Anyway, I'll get it diagnosed one day. Just have to get the moolah first. I just realized I'd never told it to anyone beyond Jessica and my professor so why not my lj.

Anyways, back to sims. I has a family of 9! Aaah babies.

Well it is five thirty in the morning. I just got back from playing around in the pool after hours. We discussed our moving to Vermont this next spring/summer while in the hot tub. Mostly I just talked about how much I'd enjoy having friends again. At this point there is really only one other person outside of Jessica that I even speak to anymore on any sort of regular basis and it rather depresses me.

So I'm really hoping Vermont is going to open up a lot of doors as far as friends, job opportunities, living opportunities, and intellectual inspiration. I just need to survive about eight or nine more months. And really it shouldn't be too bad. Only two of them will actually be a core class, and it will be literature of all things. (can do literature with her eyes closed, but preferably open!)

I suppose in other news I got caught up in all of my classes and today I learned how to recolor hair for Sims 2. I am now, however, overly wanting to do some writing but I have to get done with English or I'll kill someone. I think it's making me thoroughly unwanting to do much of anything.

Um, I guess the only other real update to be made is that Jessica and I are considering going as Mitsuru's personas for A-KON next year. I'm to be Artemisia, whom looks like this... http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/3/34/Artemisia.png ...that. I'm very worried of being asked to leave due to safety hazard. After all...I could put an eye out with that thing. We'll see.

Kaitlin, signing off. (probably to struggle to stay awake through the day)

I just wanted to post that the best movie I've seen this new year (and I've watched a lot) has been Doubt. It was just -ridiculous-. I thought given the plot I'd be bored out of my mind but instead I was biting my nails the whole way. The writer was -phenomenal-, making the Priest the protagonist and the nun trying to accuse him of molestation the antagonist. Really great watch!

Also, I'm writing! woo!

You know what's kind of a great oxymoron? That looking at medical websites makes you less healthy. I get worried about my health a lot because let's face it I'm going down the tubes, but reading the sites make the situation almost laughable.

So, who's with me? Apparently I have diabetes, schizophrenia, and a brain tumor. Only I don't. XD It's funny the way you just go look to find out why you're dizzy and you end up with that. I live in generation paranoid XD

See yah!

Roleplaying meme stolen from paper_inc

( I can't believe I've only rped four years. )

So me and Jessica finally got the huge Ten-2 building fixed up for our family and finally got our family to look exactly the way we wanted. And in celebration I've been playing the house for nearly two days straight.

And now I bring pairing goodness in picture form! W00!

( The likely suspects... )


( Alaric and Sakey, fuckbuddies since way back and rather in love now. )


( Then we have Lucky and Sakey. Meeting in an insane asylum builds character. )


( And of course Lucky and Alaric met and it was lust at first sight. )

Woo 2008 New Year Meme stolen from my lovely jadedanielle

( Can't believe it's tomorrow. )

Sakey as a little mermaid is adorable. How can you not love someone who can't walk, eats muffins like they are raw fish, and draws with the same gusto of a child at Christmas? *dies*

I am getting more upset as time goes on with Adam. He is a great guy. I really like him. But he is getting attached and very obviously wants to date me other than be my friend. It kind of pisses me off really. Fuck friends that are male when all they want to do is get in your pants.

Every friend I've made so far has turned out to be an asshat.

I am going to be busy soon!

27Oct-21Dec
Business on Mondays 1-5
Web Graphic Design on Thursdays from 8-12 (thank you god <3)


05Jan-01Mar
Computer Apps on Mondays 1-3 (bullshit)
Honors Psychology on Tuesdays 8-12
Critical Thinking on Tuesdays 1-5


All Kaitlin knows is that there is no way in hell she is working as many hours come January because an eight hour class day is kind of holy shit along with thirty hours of Starbucks a week. BUUUUUT NO MATH ANYMORE AFTER THIS!!!!

I am in a real rut right now. The computer I am using currently is Robbie and he will not open the website that I do math on. At least not fully enough for me to do the actual work. I am....terrifyingly behind right now. As in, still on section one during week 3 because of it.

I could always go to the school to work on it but I literally work everyday and most of the time during the only time the school is open. Meaning I could rush up there to work but still only get an hour before they close the library.

My laptop is on it's way but I'm so far behind right now I'm just desperately worried about failing. It takes six hours to just do a section. And I'm going to arrive to class on Wednesday still on chapter one. It's self-paced and everything but FUCK.

In other news, I have never been more glad to give my dinky four hour shift away in favor of sleep. I wanted to do math of course but the library doesn't open until eight I think so it doesn't matter. I might still go today, assuming there are any computers left at this point.

My neck hurts like a bitch also. I can't tell if it's from leaning over a nightstand to use the computer or just the bed in general. My dream was bizarre and rather scary in bits but there was an utterly kickass hailstorm in it and I thought I'd share that. The end. I think I'll eat and get dressed, and waste my gas to go to devry.

If you wake up soon Jessica, I'll get on gmail <3

I cannot and will never be able to write poetry, for class or otherwise. XD BUT everyone may laugh at my attempts.

( cut cut )

Sometimes I am staggered by my own blatant stupidity. I try so fucking hard to be an adult and then BAM I'm knee deep in shit. So I bought my laptop the other day which was only three hundred but it still wiped me clean of everything but about one hundred dollars. I used fifty on the internet bill, leaving me with just under seventy dollars. Which was more than enough for me. I still didn't need groceries and I didn't need gas.

Until today of course. I am being evicted from my apartments on the twelfth unless either the school decides to take pity on me or if I can come up with 420 dollars.

I will only have 420 if my paycheck tomorrow is over 300 dollars. Which I'm at least hoping it will be. I'm just...fuck fucking hell. Am I supposed to make sure I have fucking 400 dollars on hand at all times just because DeVry can't get their shit together? I hate this school so much.

It's a very rare thing to walk into your composition class and have the professor immediately search you out and tell you she wants to put you in honors because you obviously read too much for the regular class. Utterly bizarre.

In other news...I am SO getting the VAIO that I want <3 TODAY! *spazgasm*

I want a white Sony VAIO so badly right now *whimpers* They are just so pretty. Unfortunately they are also quite expensive in comparison to other brands.

By the twelfth I will have a 600 downpayment for a 800 or 900 dollar computer, meaning the payments will be laughable and probably finished in one month. My mother just sent me a message saying she bets money I'll be going home with a computer tomorrow though so I'm assuming I'll just make the downpayment with the 350 that I have. It's whatever. I'll still be able to pay it off completely in under two months.

FUCK YOU DEVRY I CAN PAY FOR MY OWN DAMNED LAPTOP!!

I'm going to update again because I can. My new roommates name is Christina and I've not decided whether I am grateful for her or whether I hate her yet. She has an intensely thick Texan accent and she keeps talking about things like chili spaghetti and not going to Starbucks because they don't support the war (which, uh, we do, hi). She wears too much makeup and owns thirty nascar shirts and looks to be rather too rich for her own good.

I can't even see my clothes in the closet for how much shit she brought with her. I'm not even lying either. She has an intense fear of everyone hating her and talking behind her back, and instead of causing her to become painfully shy like it does other people (like me) she instead talks her friggen head off and seems upset when I don't respond. I've already told her we don't talk much at all in this house but she seems determined to change that. She's a medical student and I don't think she's ever been around gaming students.

She has already admitted she does not read and that sort of made me dislike her immediately...which is shallow, I know okay. But I mean, other than that she's really okay. She's nice which is all I really should ask for and she means well. And well, again, shallow, but she has a hair straightener <3

Because of this new roommate I'm becoming a lot closer with Jewelya, the wannabe gothling down the hall. I end up running away from room and inevitably talking to her in the living room. I played Persona in there at one or so this morning and she came in and watched and talked until I went to bed. At least with her I don't have to kind of guard my sexuality or my heaping amount of perversion, I can just say it and laugh about it and move on.

Starbucks still sucks but not near as much as it did. I can do all the shit there and do it quickly and damn anyone if they say otherwise. I like Ashley a whole lot and so it makes it worth it. The one person whom I don't get along with is leaving so all is looking 'okay' in that department.

The school is continuing to suck though. Apparently we had two plus loans out? (HUGEWTF) and so my poor mother had to call them up, cancel one, and redo the promissary note within a day to appease them because DeVry fucking LOVES to try to evict me from housing over and over and over again. I told my mother if they screw up one more time this badly I just have to transfer somewhere. I cannot take doing this every month. Fuck DeVry. Hell, maybe I'll just go to Howard Payne back in brownwood (though god, I'd rather not get stuck there).

It's just really kind of...hard because the school I'm liking the most is in New York City...which I'm rightfully a little terrified of. Everyone in my entire family lives in Texas. I'd have no help =[ But I don't know why I care so much. I doubt I'd even be able to get in. My grades aren't that spectacular.

Anyway, I think I shall go shower. Playing in water sounds fun when you have nothing to do. OH I did buy cute underwear though! That is all. <3